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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Daily Challenge:

- worship God -- I don't think that I worship God daily... and sometimes I think that I take for granted who He is... I see Him working in my life and in the lives of those around me... and I thank Him for that...but thanking God for things is not the same as worshipping God for who He is. Am I losing that constant awe and fear of God? Do I tremble in His presence? Are my prayers becoming too self-centered? Are my prayers becoming too people-centered? There defintiely is time for personal prayer requests as well as prayer requests for those around us... but.... am I forgetting one essential aspect of prayer? deep, profound, worship of our Lord and Saviour? Am I dedicating my life daily to revere God? It is truly not about me, but about You Father.

- confess to God -- this is definitely something that I lack... there may be times where I want to change something in my life...but that doesn't mean that i've confessed it fully to God... the danger in forgetting to confess to God is this: a) i start to think that my sins are small, minimal.. when in reality, they are sins... still destestable to God... b) pride decides to enter into my heart... I think that I can change the bad things in my life...rather than submit it to God... c) hypocracy may set in as well... how can I go out and proclaim God's love if things are not right between me and God? d) then there's always the notion that I don't do bad things? dang... that's a load of b/s =P i screw up all the time...

- let God's light shine through me -- such a catch phrase almost... ooo..... it's not only about letting God's light shine through you while you are serving in a fellowship or in church... it goes so much deeper than that.... is there a difference between shining for God and letting God shine in and through you? sometimes i start to think that I must shine brightly for God...and that almost entails that we are doing it on our own, from our own strength... when it's totally not... on the other hand, letting GOd's light shine through me? how do we do that??? What are some elements of God's "light"? God' love.... [ Romans 13: 8 ~ Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.] God's joy -- do you have a contant joy in your heart that comes from Him? Can others clearly see that there's this wierd unsurpassable joy you have in your life..that's almost...unexplainable to outsiders? .... God's wisdom, God's generosity, God's forgiving nature, God's compassion, etc...

Reflect:
Ephesians 4 - 5 - Living as Children of Light (the title in the Bible)

(excerpt Eph. 5:8 to 21)

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

- Amen.

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 12:52 p.m. (0) comments

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

i haven't blogged in awhile... each time i've tried over the past 2 weeks, i just got lazy and deleted the entry before finishing it... so here it finally is :)

These past 2 weeks has kinda all been somewhat of a blur... life's been a bit too busy for me... need to slow down again... i guess it's more of taking each day at a time, rather than looking too far ahead and gettin too caught up in each day's activities... i've still had time to read some books but it's not sufficient to my personal quiet time... the personal prayers are getting shorter again... tis not good...it's a work in progress...thanks God for pointing it out to me....

so as my last blog suggests, i did feel a bit of God's calling for me this term specifically... and as the term progresses, it is becoming more and more clear. Yet at the same time, it's truly a test of faith and obedience to God. As each day unfolds, He shows me new opportunities.... but with the new opportunities, i am reminded again of how broken our world is... so many people are lost or searching (in the right direction or not) ... and many a time, I am one of those broken people as well... what does it mean when we ask God to break our hearts? we say it in our prayers, we sing it in worship songs, it's a "common" christian term... are we meant to be in a continual state of brokenness before God?

it pains my heart when there are so many broken people in the world that cannot seem to grasp how deep and how high and how wide God's love for us is... God's love has changed me inside out many times over and it's sad to know that people are missing out on that... i want to see the joy in their faces and in their hearts... what can I do? i dunno exactly... it's a rather unsettling feeling... but it does motivate me to just go out there and try to live out His love in my life... and i know i fail pretty often at that...but... it is definitely worth continually working towards...

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 12:55 p.m. (0) comments

Thursday, September 08, 2005

tick tock tick tock...that's what i'm currently feeling... only got 3 hrs of sleep yesterday...but tonite i'm gonna try to stay up at bit and just meditate on the following Psalm:

Psalm 143
A psalm of David.

1 O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.

2 Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you.

3 The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead.

4 So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.

5 I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.

6 I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah

7 Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD, for I hide myself in you.

10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

11 For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.

12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.



------ edit post ------

2 hrs later....

all i can say is... that in such a short amount of time, this is probably one of the most powerful times that God has ever spoken to me and worked in the lives of those around me... i give Him all the glory He really deserves and so much more... words cannot express how God has changed me again... I will continually thank and praise the most worthy of our worship Father... ^_^

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 10:33 p.m. (0) comments

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Hmmm... before i start bloggin about the actual cruise... i need to vent a bit...

i think there are only two primary things of this world that have the ability to majorly piss me off or make me extremely unhappy... and when i think about it more now.... i get rather frustrated with myself... why is it that I get frustrated with these two things(people) and i don't seem to get as frustrated with poverty, materialism, natural disasters, etc... who am i becoming? why aren't the more important issues of this world striking me harder and compelling me do to something about it or to pray more about it? only God knows... i suppose i gotta deal with these two things that have the ability to push my inner buttons consistently... one has died down over the past year and i truly praise God for that... the other... well.... still looms in the dark... waiting for a chance for it to arise again.. over and over again... what is this sin that so easily entangles??

when you are being wronged, how easy is it to turn the other cheek? i suck at this..... really really suck... and there lies all the resentment in my heart... God, only you can take it out...

-----

now about that Caribbean cruise :)

*YAY* it was great =P came back with a nice sun tan... not terribly dark, but it's good enough lol... hmmm... i think i was expecting to really spend some major reflection and meditation time with me an God but instead, i found myself chillin a lot with my lil sis... i guess this is what God had in store for me...

during the trip, i felt like i had been taken back 5 years to the age of 13 - 17 (gr 8 - gr 12) ... first of all... on the first day of the cruise, i was given soooooooooo many blank stares and confusion when I told people I was actually 18+ and i needed to fill in my own immigration and customs forms and other random stuff... and as well all throughout the trip... people could not believe i was not in high school... o_O boooooooo for looking young... oh well... that set the stage i suppose... for chillin with all high school kids the whole trip... it was.... interesting to say the least...

i think by hanging out with these kids God was showing me how to "liu gai" my sister more... epecially how she thinks and acts at her age... haha....apparenty i'm "worse than mom" and overly protective... eeeeek...i can't help it... i think i gotta learn to let go of her sometime... it's hard... man...another thing i learned...was how boy crazie kids are... eeeek... omg... it was a very wierd and uncomfortable experience... chasing guys on the cruise ship and stalking them... i'm not joking...this is what people found very fun and adventerous... checking guys out... trying to say "hi", and get their name and email, trying to find their room on the ship, trying to set people up.... there were many times when i kinda faked exhaustion to escape from having to do these things... there is one thing to keep in mind..the guys we were chasing... OMG they were like 3 to 6 years younger than me... it's so nasty...and at the same time i had to force myself to look enthused and not come across as anti-social or give off the "i'm too cool for you" vibe... it's wierd... when my sister is enjoying all these boy chasing escapades, she manages to tell my mother a couple... and to my surprise, my mom doens't care one bit... she just says that andrea's very into boys now and leaves it at that... man... i dunno how she does it... how to let her learn to make her own mistakes... haha.... twas good times... i'm thankful for the cruise-time... ate TONZ... gained some... meh~ tis all good...

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 9:18 p.m. (1) comments