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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

i haven't blogged in awhile... each time i've tried over the past 2 weeks, i just got lazy and deleted the entry before finishing it... so here it finally is :)

These past 2 weeks has kinda all been somewhat of a blur... life's been a bit too busy for me... need to slow down again... i guess it's more of taking each day at a time, rather than looking too far ahead and gettin too caught up in each day's activities... i've still had time to read some books but it's not sufficient to my personal quiet time... the personal prayers are getting shorter again... tis not good...it's a work in progress...thanks God for pointing it out to me....

so as my last blog suggests, i did feel a bit of God's calling for me this term specifically... and as the term progresses, it is becoming more and more clear. Yet at the same time, it's truly a test of faith and obedience to God. As each day unfolds, He shows me new opportunities.... but with the new opportunities, i am reminded again of how broken our world is... so many people are lost or searching (in the right direction or not) ... and many a time, I am one of those broken people as well... what does it mean when we ask God to break our hearts? we say it in our prayers, we sing it in worship songs, it's a "common" christian term... are we meant to be in a continual state of brokenness before God?

it pains my heart when there are so many broken people in the world that cannot seem to grasp how deep and how high and how wide God's love for us is... God's love has changed me inside out many times over and it's sad to know that people are missing out on that... i want to see the joy in their faces and in their hearts... what can I do? i dunno exactly... it's a rather unsettling feeling... but it does motivate me to just go out there and try to live out His love in my life... and i know i fail pretty often at that...but... it is definitely worth continually working towards...