originally, i was goin to blog about the application between one of my psych courses and my family situation...but i can't... my mind is kind of in disjunction...
I need the Lord's guidance... i think i'm beginning to see a very tough choice that i'm going to have to make soon... perhaps one of the hardest things i've had to do... it's gonna be pain-filled, but ultimately, it's the right thing to do. Things are way out of my league now, far beyond what I'm supposed to handle. i have nothing to say. i feel like things are at a loss, but ultimately, You are IN CONTROL. I will remain faithful in my prayers....
God give me courage and boldness to do what you have called me to do. [your prayers are appreciated]
It is well with my soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 10:54 p.m. (0) comments
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Sabbath Time =)
i'm going to opt out of prayer meeting tonite and spend some time in meditation with my Father instead.
first off, i'ld like to thank my heavenly Father for answering my prayer... again, i am shown His great mercy... His great POWER.... all i have in my heart is gratitude and JOY. gotta keep praying.. it truly is a miracle what God has already done :D :D
Prayer item #1: continually answered after 4 months of persistent prayer.
Prayer item #2: continually answered after 1 year, 4 months of passionate prayer.
it's june...and i've had 3 opportunities to go home on the weekend already since the beginning of the term =) haha.. this beats my # of times going home/term by 3x already compared to my 2A term =P hehe... i'm really thankful that I got the chance to do so... home is always good... i quite miss it actually =P that being said, i have to keep persistent in my prayers re: home... altho it's defintiely less stressful living here in waterloo, a large part of me wants to be home and to be sharing with them in the trials there... i don't want to have certain people feel like they're facing it alone... phone calls, msn doens't work in terms of finding out how it's really like back home...
--
i've realized that over the past 3 years, iv'e gotten to know myself a lot better... it's a good thing, but it comes with more responsiblity... i know my weaknesses... i know the circumstances that i'm more likely to fall in... i know how my brain works in internal struggles... i know how my brain can tend to wander... i realize when i'm stressed and when i'm not... i know the situations when my patience wears thin... i know when i'm being plain lazy vs. when i'm unsure of myself or God... so... the responsibiltiy lies in controlling myself and fighting even harder against the things that i know want to strike me down... only in and through Christ.
--
at Campus Challenge, during the University time, the question was asked --> What is your vision(s) for CCF? -- at the time, i coudlnt' think of anything concrete until we broke up into smaller groups that nite... that's when God really placed the burden in my heart...
how well do we really know each other at ccf? how much do you know about the person you call a "close friend"? are we really a community of believers that is there to share in our joys and sorrows together? sharing -- entails that we know about each other's joys and sorrows... i think that when something good happens to us, we're pretty open to sharing about what great things God has done in our lives... or of how we were in pain and now are healed through Christ...
that's great =) but there's more... what about the times when things are actually pretty much sucks crap... this applies to every single person in the community -- whether you are a committe ememeber, a cell group leader, a small group/BS leader, a welcome table host, an AV specialist, a table/chair setter, a refreshments maker, a worship leader, a photocopier, ... point is..whatever your equally valued role is... it makes no difference in the Body of Christ... the challenge still applies: how open are you with in sharing your deeper struggles to a brother(s)/sister(s) that you know "well"? how willing are you to ask this ccf community for prayers -- for your lost hope, repetitious sins, internal brokenness, depression, family issues, deep hurtful injustice done to you, etc... I.E. would at least one person in this fellowship know that your family is in shambles and a family member is about to move out? woudl at least one person in this fellowhip know that you've lost the meaning for life or that it's hard to wake up each day to crap? would you be feeling the support through prayer of at least one other person in this community? are we facing these things alone when we have this loving community God has given us?
and on the flip side, how well are you getting to know others? i'm not implying that we should all be in your face and force ppl to share everything personal... what i am saying is let's be more transparent with each other... that's the only way we can dig beneath the surface... have you heard of the phrase "it takes one to know one"? i think it's very true... it takes a broken sinner to know another broken sinner. i guess we've all gotta realize the brokenness in our own lives before we can begin to fathom other ppl's brokenness... remember, God is the God of the brokenhearted.