posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 8:06 p.m. (0) comments
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Life~~~ :)
i think everybody goes through their own struggles all the time... and the more i hear about them, the more i feel compelled to pray for them and just try to help them in whatever way I can... the more i get to know those in my realm of influence, the more i see God revealing the ministry He intends for me... sometimes you dont' have to look too far in order to find what God is calling you to do... this term's gonna be pretty crazie... loaded school schedule, ASA, CCF, and my commitments to my family and close friends... sounds like a lot eh? =P and i'm really thankful that i've got those people out there that are looking out for me and making sure that i don't get overwhelmed.. but amidst the apparent "busyness" of life..... it all seems pretty simple to me... just do what God tells you to do... no quesitons asked... this has definitely been something that i've been learning... i jsut gotta persevere and rely on Him for i can do nothing apart from God.
it seems to me that recently, God has been trying to tell me how to love my immediate family the way God loves me... and to try to bring some aspects of the relationship i have wtih my Father into my relationships with my family...
He keeps tuggin and my heart..over and over again.... it feels like my heart breaks repeatedly as we go thru our struggles... the tears i've shed are not tears of anger or depression...but rather tears of compassion... compassion that continually breaks my heart to learn to love even more... God it's so hard.... oh so hard to face the present situations sometimes... but I feel you with me... so it is my prayer that in our sufferings, that Your name be glorified... mold our hearts and attitudes to be like yours Father...
wow..... even as i type this now, i can almost feel the tears coming... my heart breaking....
for those of you reading this, all i ask is that you keep me and my family in your prayers.... i feel we're constantly under spiritual attack... pray that He will strengthen us and that we would draw near to Him... specifically me and my sister...
when people ask what's wrong, i thank you for your concern...really, you all have shone me God's love and i'm sorry if i'm unable to reveal to you guyz the full extent of the situation... please accept it and just pray... that's all i need, not an ear to listen, but a heart to pray... thankyou.
posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 8:59 p.m. (1) comments
Thursday, May 05, 2005
I've successfuly completed my first week of my 2B term...
it's amazing how many people have asked me this term in just over 4 short days if i was feeling lonely living in my big apartment all by myself... to the normal person, you would think so wouldn't you? but in my perspective, I actually feel pretty blessed to be living alone this term...
it really gives me a lot of time to study... haha..that's the first most noticeable observation that i've made since i got here... it's kinda funnie :) i can actually transform myself into becoming one of those hardcore accounting studie crazie freaks :D hahahaha.... yup yup... in one day, i read like over 150 pgs worth of readings over 4 courses.... it's so insane... if i were living with anyone, i definitley wouldn't be as productive... this is definitely a blessing from God.... this is by far the hardest term that i've encountered over my university life... in terms of balancing school work, reaching out to classmates, and ccf-related activities...
skool's gonna get really really tough after the first 3 weeks... b/c after that, there'll be at least 2 midterms and 1 test EACH WEEK till the end of classes in late july... crazie eh? hehe.. now the me during my 2A would have been totally freaking out by now...but this term, there's a sense of peace... overwhelming peace that transcends all understanding... there's no need for me to dwell upon things that normally woudlnt' have stressed me out...
apart from improved studying habits, i think by living alone, i really get a chance to discover who i am before God.... rediscover the joys of simply living in God's presence... there are so many things to be thankful for... so many things to praise Him for... so many characteristics of God being revealed to me...
operation andrew this term... hmmm... 4 ppl to pray for consistently... GOOD STUFF!!!!!!!! nehoos..in the topic of evangelism.... these are just some of my thoughts... since i've entered uni, GOd has really blessed me with many relationships w/ nonchristians accross campus... and for osme of them, He's given me the opporutnity to share with them about Christ, God, Love... but it's almost as if the people that I really felt GOd calling me to care for... i dun have a very close relationship with them now... and i understand how sometimes relationships do tend to fade... guess i jsut gotta trust that He'll bring other people into their lives... i jsut feel kinda bad for not being there for them anymore... at the same time, as old friendships start to fade, He blesses me with new ones... and HE gives me new passions to reach out to these new people... i jsut dun want the fire to ever fade cuz that's almost what it seems like... He is the only one who renews me...