what has happened since the last time i logged in? lots =)
- completed masters - studied intensely for a month for the UFE - wrote the UFE - flew to HK/Japan for a month long vacation - spent a week in TO with Alexis - started work at KPMG
what's still to come?
- lots of work events in the next month and work training events - finding out the UFE results on Dec 5 - holiday season
where am i now?
1) figuring out where is my spiritual community - kainos/barnabas/rhccc/elsewhere?
i guess after having a lack of spiritual community for the past, well 2 years almost.. (since the end of 3B term in loo), its about time to go purposefully seek spiritual community... i'm determined this time around...
i'm still so lost tho... the kainos fellowship at rhccc, well it seems catered towards more younger university students (nothing against that), but i'm at a different stage of life now... doesn't quite seem to fit and its not quite challenging enough in a spiritual growth sense...
the barnabas fellowship at rhccc, hahah well i'm definitely the youngest one by far by about 5 years hahahha its quite a change from being the oldest to being the youngest.. but that's okay :) i like getting to know people older than me with more experience to share... its been a struggle to initiate deeper conversations.. the atmosphere is quite intimidating in an unwelcoming sense.. but i've got to give it more chances, i've only been there twice...
well.. how about rhccc in general? i've kept this decision looming in the back of my mind for the past... 5 years!~ haahah sad... but true... is this where God wants me? it's a big church, +4K people attending on any given Sunday... multiple services, its easy to get lost in the crowd... every previous work term back home, has been a struggle, but i've always thought, it's okay, i'll be back to watelroo within a few short months, just hang in there and things will get better... now that i'm back for good, and no plans to leave toronto in the next few years, this is the time to re-evaluate, or evaluate rather, what makes a Church...
when do you decide you need to find a new Church? the Church is His body of believers, united through our faith in God...there cannot be anything in this world that can break that bond of believers...
then, why leave?
you've heard the phrase "church shopping", its the honest truth of the matter... where is the line drawn between church shopping and finding spiritual community/growth/feeding/service?
i'm not going to complain/critique rhccc, i have my beliefs that have been built and refined over hte past 5 years of attending rhccc... and as the months progress, and June hits, i'll be in a whole new situation with Alexis moving over and a new perspective.... one where we need to be looking for a Chruch and spiritual community together and a place to settle down together... where?
only God knows... even though i am rather confused and lost about all this.... i can't help but think that in the mysteriousness of His will, it comes hand in hand with His insurmountable power, His eternal Sovereignty... and by that, it reveals just how amazing He is... He always reminds me that He works for good of those who love Him... and so, admist all the unanswered questions, there is peace.... and contentment even tho i yearn for His will to unfold in my life... kind of an oxymoron... but that's life :)