I've almost gone thru all of Jerry Bridges' The Fruitful Life and was reading the chapter on the fruit of gentleness..and it really stuck out to me.. I'm going to copy what he says in the book...
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Treating Others Gently:
"A profile of gentleness as it should appear in our lives will first include actively seeking to make others feel at ease, or "restful," in our presence. We should not be so strongly opinionated or dogmatic that others are afraid to express their opinions in our presence. Instead, we should be sensitive to others' opinions and ideas. We should also avoid displaying our commitment to Christina discipleship in such a way as to make others feel guilty, taking care not to break the bruised reed of the hurting Christian or snuff out the smoldering wick of the immature Christian.
Second, gentleness will demonstrate respect for the personal dignity of the other person. Where necessary, it will seek to change a wrong opinion or attitude by persuasion and kindness, not by domineering or intimidation. It will studiously avoid coercion by threatening, either directly or indirectly.
Gentleness will also avoid blunt speech and an abrupt manner, instead seeking to answer everyone with sensitivity and respect, ready to show consideration toward all. Gentle Christians do not feel they have the liberty to "say what I think and let the chips fall where they may." Instead they are sensitive to the reactions of others to their words, and considerate of how others may feel about what they say. When gentle Christians find it necessary to wound with words, they also seek to bind up those wounds with words of consolation and encouragement.
Gentle Christians will not feel threatened by opposition or resent those who oppose them. Instead, they will seek to gently instruct, looking to God to dissolve the opposition, just as Paul taught Timothy to do in chapter 2 of his second letter.
Finally, gentle Christians will not degrade or belittle or gossip about the brother or sister who falls into some sin. Instead they will grieve for him or her and pray for that person's repentance. If it is appropriate to become personally involved with the erring brother or sister, they will seek to restore him or her gently, as Paul instructs us in Galations 6, aware that they too are subject to temptation.
Christians who truly seek to obey God through gentle character will actively pursue gentleness, striving to clothe themselves with it. They will place this godly virtue high on their list of spiritual traits and look to God the Holy Spirit to produce this fruit in their life."
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wowwww...isn't that sooooo coool??? i was reading it and i thought to myself... wow... it's just so good! i really agree with Bridges when he says in like the first page of this chapter..that usually, when people think of the fruit of the spirit, they think of like the "main ones" or the fact that people tend to pray for patience, love, purity, and self-control... but how many people pray for gentleness? such a good point i think =)
sometimes i kinda think that... people often wish not to be gentle as Bridges describes this fruit.. they wish to be "strong", "fierce", and most of all influential... and i really believe that they mean well and they do so in order to care fore other believers, but maybe more often than not, ppl can be intimidated... haha i'll be the first to admit that i do get intimidated a bit by people who exhibit those kinda characteristic traits... it's true...i feel as if my opinion is not as important as theirs..and hey must know all b/c they are more mature Christians than i am... but in the end, i know that's not really the way i'm supposed to feel...
so i hope that i can be really careful with that i say.. and that i can really be sensitive...and gentle.