Humans are mortal... usually people live up to 80 or 90 years old... i think today there was a sudden realization that she might be leaving us soon... a rather unnerving thought... the thoughts creep into my mind.. things like, how long... where to move... when to move... am i goin to move out and live with her... will she make it that long... i hope that her health declines at a slow pace... i don't know if i've ever really seen her so sad... tonite at the dinner table, she barely said a word... quite opposite from her usual self... and having my mom tell me that she cried earlier today when the lung specialist told her the news straight up... the whole time at the dinner table, i was thinking... she sounds like she's about to cry... it makes me sad too... it could be 3-5 years... but every person is different... and at any moment, even before that, life could cease... my mom says she plans to pretty much live life up to the fullest now that there's a vague countdown looming in the future...
life is fragile. how are you goin to make yours worthwhile... every second counts. every choice matters. i am accountable to God for every action, every thought.