i'm really starting to think that weekends are just inherently worse than weekdays..altho that might not always be the case, the past 2 weeks have proven it to be so... both saturdays i've woken up to the sounds and within 5 minutes of waking up, i really want to leave, disappear, and have absolute silence...
there's nothing much I can do.... i'm trying here, i really am... but sometimes i really think that it's starting to backfire on me... half the time i end up wanting to do exactly what i'm not supposed to do and the other half of the time when i choose to do nothing, i end up feeling like i have no heart or smthg... how's that supposed to work... i don't think it does...
so yes, prayers are greatly appreciated... i generally usually just need time to retreat, think by mysef, away from familiar faces, pray... and renew my mind again with hope, strength, and perseverance in Him... yeah... uusally i need to let it out... sighz.. it has such a big impact on me and my mental state for as long as i think about it without it being resolved in my head... man.. all this can really drive me nuts... la la la la
and breathe... this is day that the Lord has made.... we will be glad and rejoice in it... (song keeps recurring in my brain.. yay for music therapy hahah)
