i dont' even know where to begin... but i'm really glad that God enabled me to get more rest these past few days... after a full week of sleeping around 4am each nite..and waking up to a fever, dizziness, headaches, stomachaches, and extreme tiredness, it's like i can see the light at the end of the hole.. =) i'm still pretty physically weak...woke up this mornign with a pretty sore throat which has lasted throughout the day... but being able to get rest has really renewed me...
this past week, everything was thrown at me... it's like everything that i care about turned into a mental battle... i thank God for sustaining me and for listening to all the prayers that were offered on my behalf... i'm so very blessed to have such loving brothers and sisters checking up on me and praying consistently for me...
quesiton is... do i have mental resolution now? i would say yes on most fronts... doing a lot better starting yesterday after beign able to get some time to myself... and being able to connect again with those i hold dear...
although in some ways this week was really really tough, i also see it as another day in the life of a Christian... battling fiercely in the spiritual realm... which also encompasses physical, emotional, and mental.... physically, well let's jsut say my immune system is pretty down now especially with all the gorup project insanity... emotionally, it's been a rough ride since last sunday... for all those painful emotions to flood up again... the tears... the feeling where you want to cry but you can't cuz you've got kinda choking reflex... and mentally...wow..let's not even go there =P haha.... everything ranging from major academic pressure/stress to dealing with family issues to ccf-related stuff and much much more on my mind that i just can't express here...
but admist all of that, to be able to stay spiritually close to the Lord... that's what is noteworthy... it doesn't matter so much at what gets thrown at me in life... what's more important is my reaction to it... how did i praise God this week, today, this hour, this minute... how did i remember and honour Him in all i do? how did respond to being physically, emotionally, and/or mentally exhausted? how much complaining came out of my mouth this past week? how much time did i spend together with my Lord in queit times... to hear His still, small voice admist my busyness... to be comforted and renewed by my Father...
i can't say that i did all of the things above all the time... but that's what's been goin on in my head reflecting back upon how i handled myself this week... was it truly God-honouring? well.. i'm sure that i over-stressed more than i should have... prolly complained too much for my own good... and didnt' get as much queit time as needed... but it's smthg to strive for.. to be able to be very very close to God every day no matter what spiritual battles i'm in on that partiuclar day... to humble myself before Him...
i think sometimes, for myself anyways, i can have a tendency to get too wrapped up in whatever i'm dealing wtih at the moment.. but relaly, many times, God just wants me to stop and focus my eyes upon Him... to remember to live each and every day for the glory of God... to start and end the day with the Lord's words hidden in my heart... and really just tkae a step back and not totally freak out at all that's been on my mind... to continue to be a strong witness and ambassador for Christ...
hang in there afm buddies... the term is *almost* over...