The_Deep_Thinker

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Temporarily flustered, but ultimately at peace.

it isn't everyday that you get called both a bitch and an asshole and told not to care and not to love me all within 10 minutes.

i think we both need a time out... i'm just gonna let go of her... it's not my role to be her second parent... i dont' want to be her second parent.... i'm gonna cut down my contact with her... no shopping, no food, no theatres, no movies, no random chiling, and just let her live her own life... and when she's ready, we'll start hanging out again... until then, let her make her own mistakes.... it's actually been such a long time since we last fought... prolly over a year even... but dang... =P when she blows up.. dangggg... i need to get outta the way! at least now it's only words... and not actions...

i think i've learnt how to deal with adhd... under any other normal circumstance, the words would probably hurt... but it barely hits me anymore... i know it's not how she means it to be... the raging emotions is a part of her that she can't control once she gets so pissed off...

but honestly tho... i don't know what a good approach would be to all this...

like ____, and just not really even talk to her at all... just play every now and then, and PRAY

like ____, and give her books read and videos to watch, and PRAY

like ____, and give all those lectures, and PRAY

cuz my approach is obviously not working very well... i've crossed the line. sorry kiddo.

i just remembered now what i was telling someone yesterday... in this whole world, she is probably without a doubt in my mind the person (who is a human) i care about the most... =) hehe i guess that makes it super hard to let go =P

my dad said something tonite over his celebratory birthday dinner that really touched me tonite... he told andrea that he's actually jealous of all the time that i spend with her... always taking her out each weekend... wow... i'm still kinda processing that... i guess time is very precious indeed..

i love you sweetie... and i

---*edit post*---

and 2 hrs later... after the apologies... there's no more tension... it's a hard life having to adjust to ppl's fiery tempers... and trying to understand ppl's emotional instability at times... it's ok tho =) the Lord is with us always

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 10:16 p.m.

1 Comments:

I'm praying too! I have seen such a love you have for her and I can't stop and be encouraged. Keep on Vanessa. Our Father knows your heart. He calls us to "cease to do", for then we can come and REST in Him. until next time i see/talk... prayers.
love.

By Adrienne Wong, at 1:22 p.m.