What is the first thing i lose upon returning home? patience.
well...i guess it's not completely lost, but it's so much harder to control. life consists of many training grounds for building up various fruits of the Spirit.... ^_^ being back is one of them.
i dun think i've ever been one to suddently blow up at somebody... and i don't yell at ppl... i think my patience isn't really towards angry outbursts but rather patience directed towards inward thoughts... altho it may seem kinda wierd at first -- patience towards one's inner thoughts -- but it's a reality for me.
what goes on in here (brain) may never be verbalized but it comes out in my thoughts all the same. i think over the past couple of years, the.... hmmm...trying to find the rite word for it now... bitterness? i dunno...i'll use that for now... the bitterness has definitely simmered down... and i dun think it's suppressed, but i've slowly been able to release my burdens to God and i'm in a continual learning state of surrending my entire life to Him.... well humans are never perfect and i still have a lot of faults, shortcomings, w/e...
it's kinda strange... in little less than a month... there's been a couple of instances at home where for about 5 minutes my bitterness intensity level can rise pretty high... but then, after some quiet time and solitude (well... it's not the same as living on your own in waterloo solitude...but it'll have to do for the timebeing =P ) i'm slapped across the face with perspective, with thoughts about what Christ endured for our sin, and also with tiredness. an interesting combo.. but... as my mind clears, let's focus on Him...
*awe-inspiring* -magnificent Counsellor- ~Prince of Peace~ ^^Judge and Ruler over all^^
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missing my *casting crowns* music... o_O i've been without my 15 GB of music for almost a month.. haha... the stuff on my laptop is... insufficient =P ahhhh... never realized music was sucha big part of my life...
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at work, it's been 3 boring days of training...exact same thing as last year =P haha..but last year i dint'know anything... but it's cool... i'm already booked M-Th next week and then after that for 2 and a half weeks straight doing a review engagement at a client's place... crazyness... haha...last coop work term, i barely left the office... haha... it's time to bring out those powersuits i hate wearing... well... at least i'll be making use of them... work is work =)
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next weekend: uwccf winter retreat... will be interesting...lotza prayer... lotza prayer... and lotza good times as Chris would say =P haha
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currently reading: "Traveling Light" by Max Lucado --> first book that i've read by lucado... here's something i read this past week:
"Even beasts of burden must be turned out to grass occasionally; the very sea pauses at ebb and flood; earth keeps the Sabbath of the wintery months; and man, even when exalted to God's ambassador, must rest or faint, must trim his lamp or let it burn low; must recruit his vigor or grow prematurely old.... In the long run we shall do more by sometimes doing less."
interesting quote.... can we honestly call ourselves ambassadors of Christ? dang... that's quite a big role to fill aint it? well it is... one we should carefully take to heart too... but it is fully made possible through our Lord and Saviour. take apart our fears, our stubbornness, our pride... and if we strip everything away, what really lies at the core of your being? take time to think about it... can you boldly state all that you believe in? there may not be a time when we all can do that...but if that's the case, are we seeking for more answers? turning to the Word? praying fervently?
haha... it's good to try to figure some of that out before everybody jumps on the bandwagon to serve... first know what your identity is in Christ.
