hehe..i've been bloggin so often this exam period... guess i just need to get some things out of my head and be willing to share more with others =P
i was doing my devos today... and i think one of the biggest lessons i learnt this term is spoken clearly through this passage from Our Journey (online devotional) :
"Growing deep in our Christian life includes this process of coming to know and believe in God’s love. Our maturity is also linked to our embracing the truth that God loves us—passionately, eternally, and individually."
Isaiah 43:1-3, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
1 John 4: 18, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 Peter 4:8, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
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it's been a crazie term :D hehe, especially these past 2 weeks... what is it that keeps me going? those 3 simple words: I LOVE YOU -- 1. between me and God first and foremost, 2. between me and my family, 3. between me and my friends, and even 4. between me and the world.
it's been a slow process....A) to learn how perfect love casts out fear... and B) to learn how love can cover all wrongs... very hard lessons to learn... what do u think those 2 things mean? i'm interested to see what u guyz think...
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i was talking with a friend a couple of days ago...and it struck me all of a sudden... how God chooses to shape and mold us through the trials he allows into our lives. they keep increasing in measure by "severity" ... that's not really the word i'm thinking of...but it'll do for now while i have this mind blip...
i thought about life since i entered university... i can pinpoint every major obstacle that was put into my life... from 1B to summer after 1B to 2A to workterm after 2A to 3A.... God chose these specific obstacles there very purposefully.... haha..it means that God's broken me down soo many times over and over again =P hehe..soo good!
in my own life, God decides to grow me through the things and situations that i least expect at the time... ever since i entered uw, i have been spiritually fed at ccf, cfc, kwcac, through friends, etc... but God didn't choose to prune me in those circumstances....for me, it was those other areas in my life where crap happens... it's interesting..and i dun exactly know why...
so since first year, each trial has gotten closer and closer to my heart... lol...
1B --> (guy issues...DUN laugh =P haha... only i can do that j/k)... and while it seemed important at the time, it really really wasn't... yeah... i was so stupid in first year. lol..not worth mentioning... just ask betty or lorna how dumb i was =P
Summer after 1B -- eeek... not good memories... this time God starts to hit even closer to home... literally =P hehe... looking back at my blog entries back then... the hugest trial centered around my relationship with my sister...and her relationship with the rest of the family and ultimately God... it was REALLY rough times... that was the first time in my life that I ever literally cried out to God... and also the first time that I realized the power of prayer.... God definitely broke me down that summer...
2A --> stress... w/ school... (to this day, 2A was my lowest academic term... ewww), w/ co-op... with serving at ccf, with my heart being heavy for certain folks that GOd put into my life... etc. etc... =P but yeah... that was the term God broke me down internally... and forced me to put my faith in Him and truly rely on God for all things... so now that God's broken down my interior... time for work-term...
work-term - 2B - 3A --> yeah..what a long one eh =P time to break the exterior again... and again... God prunes what is closest to my heart (other than God lol) .... family. it started rite during the last 2 weeks of my work-term (tax season) and then i was off to loo for skool again..and while i was in loo during the summer... God kinda didn't bring it to my mind too often... i guess He wanted me to focus on other things? (school mates, ccf stuff) ... the break in between summer and fall term was fine...and then comes 3A... all fine and dandy...until the past month and a bit...where God just repeatedly brought this issue to my attention over and over again... and each time, a part of me ached... and i think God's been trying to teach me the lesson of love... but i've just been too hurt to be in that mindset to learn... well..hurt no more... cuz i'm ready... ready to learn and grow and whatever else God has in store...
but u see how since 1B the issues got bigger and bigger.... altho at the time, each trial seemed pretty encompassing... it's like the more you grow... the more you learn.... then next up, God has an even bigger lesson to teach you... something that will break you down on a completely different level... (break down...not as in .. "cries, boo hoo my life sux" kinda break down... but more like finding who you are in God's eyes over and over again, and each time, He brings new aspects to light) ... and thus, your faith and confidence in the Lord also grows stronger.
and if u think about it... it can get kinda scarie... u think that whatever your'e going thru is bad... the worse is yet to come =P hehe...and it's kinda true tho ^_^... BUT realize that He never gives you trials more than you can bear... and if u really think about it... Matthew 11: 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
wahh...that's SO COOL!!!!
my my, what a long blog yet again... on another note: i'm TURNING 20 SOON~~~~ in 1 week exactly... ahhh...gonna turn into an old fart really soon (no offense to those who are already 20+)