something made me think very hard yesterday nite while talking to various people on msn...
quote from PT --> "All great leaders have great self-doubt...it is all a matter of how you deal with it."
the more i think about it..the more i see the validity of his statement... on the outside, people may seem very in tune with God and able to encourage others...but on the inside, they themselves are going through issues themselves..... perhaps issues of self-confidence and confidence in our Lord...
why can leaders so easily hide their own struggles while faithfully serving the Lord? and in these moments, when it's just you and God, we can feel hopeless and lost?
i think it's part of that "must be a good role model" to everyone else (aka PrIdE)..... sometimes leaders are not vulnerable with others for fear of showing other people they they are lost.... they start to think that the people who look up to them will now lose a bit of respect for them... on the other hand, i believe that God will continue to break each one of us down, no matter what our role is... and we've got to be able to be brutally honest with ourselves and those around us...
another reason to self-doubt from leaders could be that leaders themselves do not have as strong as a support network around them... maybe they are so used to being on the giving end rather than the receiving end that it becomes wierd for them to ask for help from others... and many times, there could be many brothers and sisters around the person, but you shy away from turning to them because either a) they already have to deal with a lot of stuff personally... and knowing what they're presently going through, you don't think they can be much help anyways.... or b) they are too busy with their other ministries and ministering to other people... u dun really wanna bother them with your issues... or c) there may be other people out there you could possibly talk to...but... you don't know them well enough yet to be able to share about such deep personal stuff...
it is so easy to fall into these sort of traps... i know i have fallen into every one of them before...
so what do you do when you are battling out there? Live a life of simplicity --> strong conviction, solid commitment, and steady courage
each of these three C words emcompasses so much... gotta figure out what it means in your own personal life....
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so...what am i dealing with now?
i think the main thing rite now is.... tiredness.... mental + physical... well..more mental than anything -- staying up really late, talking to people, i guess... God's put a lot of people on my heart...
i'm not too worried though.... it is purely only GOd who keeps me goin everyday... i'm fighting the daily spiritual battles while clinging onto God's truth.... the battle is tough... but God already has the ultimate victory.
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i was just on the phone with my mom.. =P miss home!!!! ^_^ thanks for reminding me, encouraging me, and most of all praying for me... means a lot ... hehe.. luv ya!
hey. i feel ya. u brought up a lot of great points. its definitely hard. but GOD is always there. no matter what. just gotta have faith. and go wherever HE takes us.
