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Wednesday, November 24, 2004

6:15 a.m. yup..that's rite... 6:15 am..that's when i got up this morning =P

reason? yeah..there must have been a pretty good reason for me to wake up that early~ prayer meeting!!! hehe... and i got a ride there ^_^... hmmm.... i think even 1 month ago...if someone had told me that there was a 7:15 prayer meeting at SLC i would automatically think NO. there is no way i'm getting up that early for prayer meeting... somehow...along the way, something changed... as i've mentioned earlier in a post...i've really discovered the power of prayer this term... but that wasn't enough to motivate me to go to any of the ccf prayer meetings...

a couple of weeks ago, i was talking to Ricky... and he really challenged me to pray for my fellowship, specifically ccf...and he said something that i'll never forget: "every [fellowship] group need a prayer warrior" and he challenged me to become that person... rite after he said that, i was thinking..no way!! me? eeek..i'm the girl that falls asleep during her bedtime prayers on numerous occasions... then ricky also said: "we really believe that "how our prayer meets are, that reflects how our general meets really are or a certain groups prayer meeting indicates the condition of that group".... that really got me thinking... and the more i thought about it... the more ashamed i felt that i actually hadn't prayed much for ccf at all...i mean... i pray a lot for my cell group Stepping Stones (and God has really done some AMAZING stuff here :P ) but with respect to ccf as a whole....none... zippo.... i guess this was God's way of telling me that i needed to get off my lazie butt and start praying!!

so... about 1 week after that conversation... someone asked me to go to prayer meeting for the first time..... me being stupid...i again automatically kinda wrote off the thought with excuses such as academic busyness... yeah...not good..and as i was talking to betty about how i didnt' really wanna go but i felt bad for not going cuz i should go to prayer meeting...she gave me some very good advice: pray about whether u should go or not... so i did...and God firmly placed in my mind the conversation i had with Ricky... so that was it... i HAD to go and i knew that if i didnt' go, that would be very very disobedient.. so off i went...

it was an amazing experience...the first prayer meeting that i had gone to in waterloo... it was truly so awesome... the focus for the nite was on adversity...and how we could come to the point of asking GOd to give us trials to change and shape us into becoming the people He intends... that was really a humbling experience....

nehoos..back to this morning.... yeah... so anna, alex, and i were in a group cuz we all came late =P and I really felt God's presence was with us... and guess what the focus was on? praying for our fellowship!!!!!! ^_^ hehe..God's so cool man!!! it's so encouraging to see fellow bros and sis's in Christ so dedicated to God~ yup yup...so about 8:30ish i went to Renison for some lovely breakfast!!! ahhh....i miss sooo much the yummie renison breakfasts (scrambled eggs, hash bronws, and egg over easy) hehe... thx!!! class... lunch that i made for frenz~~ and by the end of my classes...i wasnt' even that tired... thanks GOd!!! hehe.... thx for giving me strengh throughout the rest of the day...and i sit here now after dinner jsut pondering how great You are and how much You love me... hehe... ME ---> :D


posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 7:36 p.m. (2) comments

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

I have so many things to praise God for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This term, God has definitely taken a hold of my heart~ He has continually shown me his neverending love, through the situations He has given to me and the people He has blessed me with. Never before have I been able to truly experience God like the present. I think part of the reason why is because I've never really understood what faith and trust meant. And with each new trial God gave me before, I never truly 100% turned to Him for the source of everything; rather, i turned to myself or to my friends to get me out of whatever horrible situation i found myself in....only now do i realize that GOd doesn't mean to take us out of our misery just so that our life can be happy and stress-free.... He deliberately uses each circumstance to mold us into becoming the men and women of God he intends according to His plan.... when we begin to stress....internally, as harsh as it sounds, we start believing that God is not in control and that His plan really isn't the best one.... hmmm...so joy in the midst of suffering~ that's what God wants.... that we can experience in His joy and His suffering~

what draws us closer to God?
i truly believe that prayer plays a humongous role in furthering our relationship w/ God. GOd has answered SOOOOOO many of my prayers this term...and i'm left in awe at the work of God. He has answered my prayers way beyond what i could have even imagined.... when i just look back at how He has worked in me and in those around me.... i feel a sense of how unworthy i am, yet all i can do in response is to worship God.

since coming back to waterloo this fall term...i have felt my faith grow by leaps and bounds...that's not to say i didn't have my fair share of pains and trials...trust me..... i managed to screw myself over quite effectively many times this term.... and so now...i'ld just like to take the time to thank each and every one of you for caring so much for me...and keeping me accountable... i would not be where i am today without all you fine folks... you've helped me grow... not only be giving me godly advice in my own personal struggles..but also encouraging me in your own walk with God, with your own struggles, with your own questions... you have all been truly awesome brothers and sisters~ thank you..but most of all thank our precious Father...

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 1:30 p.m. (0) comments

Monday, November 01, 2004

it's been awhile since i last had a post about guyz...yeah...unfortunately, there are currently a bit of guy issues.... nothing that GOd can't handle...

i guess the biggest issue is how i handle myself.... is it in tune with how God is wanting me to act? or is it completely out of my own selfish desires? i dunnos....

i've realized that i've made some mistakes in the past...(recently actually) that i definitely need to correct.... i find myself doing things that i NEVER would have done ever...and prolly would have looked down upon if someone else had done it. i guess i never realized that something that i intended to be completley innocent may not be so innocent afterall... yeah...bad choices made by me... but thankfully...they're now in the correction phase... i dun wanna unintentionally give anybody the wrong signals...

on that note... i also have issues deciphering other ppl's signals towards me.... and after talking with Blanche, i realized that i really gotta become more sensitive and perceptive to those around me... especially with these guy/girl type situations... dun wanna get myself into crap... gotta learn to take things slow... grrr..hehe...i think too much sometimes.... overthinking.... thank GOd i've been able to give all my worries to God regaridng the whole skool/life balance...but in the department of relationships.... i'm still lacking... Father God... may Yur will be done....

Father, i'm so undeserving of Yur love...i do so many wrong things, yet yur always there, watching over me every step along the way.... never giving up on me, even when i seemingly gave up on You Lord... i'm sorry, plz forgive me.... You have shown me your neverending love and infinite power day in day out... and i'm forever grateful to you for answering my prayers... i'm still learning to have full and complete faith and trust in You Father... thank you for being so patient with me. my heart is Yurs for the taking Father....

~ Amen ~

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 4:27 p.m. (3) comments