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Saturday, September 25, 2004

CCF Bible Study Reflections:

yesterday, the purpose of the Bible studie was to get more acquainted with God's characterstics.... and during the study...one word kept popping up in almost every question that our Bible studie leader Steve asked: DELIBERATE. Yes..God is deliberate..and towards the end of the bible study... we were asked to think about what our stumbling block is...and i didn't even have to think very hard at all..when God kept putting this one word in my head: TIME.

Time. yup that's my stumbling block... and i've definitley been majorly struggling with that since i came back to waterloo this term.... time... too little of it. or time flies by too fast for me to catch up... i know God is definitley trying to teach me smthg... but i feel as if i'm just not getting it yet..and while i'm not getting it...i'm really getting a huge overload of stress... i dun even know exaclty why i have so much stress... i do have faith in God..but there's some part in me that just manages to get so overwhelmed at the things God has laid out for me this term... i truly do want to trust him more... what's stopping me from doing that? i have yet to figure out... God has definitley given me some AMAZING opportunities this term in differnet aspects of my life.

1. God's given me the opportunity to serve him in ccf this term... leading cell gorup and more so in just reachign out to the many new comers at ccf and building them up together in Christ. i really feel God moving at ccf this term..there are sooo many eager people out there that are so willing to put in their time and effort to serve Him. now about time... yes time... grrrrr... why do i feel as if time doens't allow me to fully serve him to the fullest? i need to learn how to serve him with what's he's given me and not wish for more...

2. being on co-op...this is such a great opportunity God has given me... to finally use the skills and technical gifts in accounting he's given me and allow me to use them in a hands-on work environment... and yet again..just the word co-op seems to stress me out... now that i'm kind of over the first postings...i'm alrite..but trust me...the nite before the first postings..i think i officially had a freak out!!! lol...it was pretty funnie..my brain jsut didn't function like it normally is supposed to lol... i find that i'm so impatient with regards to co-op... i don't have enough patience to wait and discover where God plans for me to be next term..i jsut want these co-op processess to be done an dover with. God, give me the strength to endure this process...

3. well... of coz there's gonna be the academic factor... yeah...skool causes stress folks!!! lol... i'm sure all the other millions of students out there know what i'm talkign aobut... trying to manage skoolwork and a social life at the same time....that's tough stuff..lol... i finally caved today and decided to go to the csa dance, but that is besides the point... there's soooo many things that are boggin me down... i need to learn to relaly give my time over to God completely in this aspect... i jsut think that my heart is not where it's supposed to be at times Lord... it's supposed to be fully focused on u Lord.. yet academics seems to sneak it's way into my daily thoughts, feelings, and actions... ther'es nothign wrong with that... but when it gets int he way of my relationship w U.... i know that's a no=no.... hehe.... turn my focus back to u Father...

so...ther eu have it... my stresses of the week..... and i know that GOd is being very deliberate in givign me these circumstances... now i'm ready... teach me what u will Lord..and i will follow... let time no longer be my stumblign block..but let it be a gift that You give me to do the things u want me to do and do them to the best of my ability.. no more..no less... Lord...i know u are there for me every step along the way at my side... so i know not to worrie... but knowing and doing is a different thing...plz allow your love to emcompass my life rite now during these tough times... God i luv u so much and i want to draw close to u again....

- amen