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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

i can't believe that in just under 3 weeks, i'll be moving back to Waterloo...back to skool...back to the life of a crazie stressed out student. this summer has just completely flown by...it seems like FOREVER ago that i was even in HK. i'm actually really gonna working at orlando corporation.... hehe... or rather miss the ppl that i work with! hehe..the ladies are sooo sweet.... they'll be cooking and ordering take out as a farewell "party" for me..and then on thursday, my boss and my accounts payable colleagues will be treating me to a restaurant of my choice =P *YAY* awww...i'll miss all these great ppl for sure!!!

now that i look back upon it... this summer hasnt' been a ocmplete waste.. i've actually accomplished a lot....compared to my previous summers of being a lazy bum!! ^_^ hehe...i miss those great carefree dayz.

so...about this whole andrea deal.... things have definitely improved...hehe...despite what my last blog suggests... i never quite realize how the situation has gotten signifantly better since i came back from hk... but when i start to think about it..i'm jsut like wow... God ..u KICK BUTT! actually...sooo many things in my life leave me w/ that feeling... gratitude and awe to my God. He's really changed her heart...and sighz... i've gotta have more faith in my God... every time he tests me...i seem to lose trust in him.... i get a bit discouraged...and helpless...thank GOd i've got awesome frenz to point out to me that i have indeed helped her out a lot.... hehe...they come in just at the rite time...when i need that emotional support! haha...espeically when i need to *itch about crap... thx a bunches!!!! i know GOd places u in my life for special reasons! you guyz always encourage me to hang in there and to keep at it! i'm so thankful that i've got so many brothers and sisters in Christ lookin out for me! and i hope that i can do the same for u~

btw....PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!! Vicky from my TC group 2 years ago accepted CHrist last saturday! hehe...i pray that GOd will bring some CHristians in her life as she goes to Laurier Brantford campus so that she'll continue to grow in her faith and also have that love and support from fellow bros and sis's in Christ!

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 10:51 p.m. (0) comments

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

i dunno what to do Lord...plz guide my thoughts and my actions.

when she turns on the bitch mode...what do i do?
- now i just leave her be...i dun want to make the situation worse...especially if i'm the one that got her into bitch mode in the first place.
- but that doesn't solve the problem!! she scares me sooo much when she goes crazie like that. i dunno how i can help her? i'm honestly stuck... if anyone even gets close to her while she's spazzin out... they're in for it. i guess ideally, i'm not supposed to fight with her so that she won't get into that mode... but fights are reality... but i dun want every fight we have to end like this. how can i stop that? CRAPPERS...i hate not being able to help u hun. that's one of my problems....i gotta learn to let u be...i can't control the situation no matter how hard i try.... it's in His hands, not mine.

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 10:52 p.m. (0) comments

Monday, August 09, 2004

i know you'll never be able to hear these words mike...but let me get them off my chest:

i never expected that you would choose this path for us. you've let me down...over and over again... i dunno how many more chances i can give u. i dunno why i even hope that we can still be frenz.... cuz clearly that's not what u want for us. i guess i'm sorrie if i made u uncomfortable by just randomly...and i mean really randomly showing up at yur church... i didn't know that this would be such a big deal to you. i can see that you can't manage even saying a simple "hello" to me... dun get me wrong..... my feelings for u have left me completely.... but i'm the kind of person that won't give up friendship....it's hard for me to understand why u dun even wanna be frenz.... but i mean... u dun have to be mean about it...if u dun wanna be frenz, that's cool.... but why the cruelty? it makes me think less of you, which is very hard for me. you are not the person i thought u were....sighz...i dun think you would ever intentionally hurt me as u did... but it's over and done with... fresh starts aren't reality for us... so.... i'll end with this. thank you for the wonderful memories... and i hope u will grow and mature so that you will never let another girl down as u have done to me.

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 6:36 p.m. (0) comments