The_Deep_Thinker

Friday, March 05, 2004

THE PLAN IS UP AND RUNNING!!!!

this is all I have to say:
I have made up my course of action and have succeeded for one day so far! Yesterday nite, it was about 1am and I popped open my Bible to find some "guidance." I just so happened to pass by Romans 7 and I was looking at the subtitle "An Illustration from Marriage" and so I decided to read it.... i took a quick glance and well...it wasn't that relevant, so my eyes skimmed over to the next subtitle in Ch 7 "Struggling with Sin." This immediately caught my attention and I decided to read it. Oh goodness...it was so good.

"Romans 7:7-25" Here's some key points:

- sin produced in me every kind of covetous desire (v8).... hmmmm....as i sit here thinking now about it, it's true.... i guess i have been coveting what was not mine.....and i hate it. sin is deceiving me and turn, i am deceiving myslef.

- in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good (v13).... yeah....i definitely recognized it because i saw good things in my life seem to fall out of my grasp. As i realized all the things that i have been ignoring recently, it made me wonder what was the reason behind it all. God opened my eyes and now i ask for His forgiveness and strength to change.

- I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me(v14 - 17)..... yup yup... this verse hit me the hardest most definitely... this is exactly what I'm feeling... i don't really know what I'm doin rite now..and the more I search...the more i realize that what i'm doing is not what i want to do... looking at myself from an outsider's perspective, i would have never thought that this would be Vanessa Li. I would have never predicted my actions now...

-For I have the deisre to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the food I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do -- this I keep on doing. When I want to do good, evil is right there with me...... yeah... there's always going to be that constant battle between what i should do and what i actually decide to do... i know i'm not perfect and i never will be, but that's not the point.. the point is that i have to fully surrender myself to God and let go of all my selfish ambitions... when i try to dig myself out of the deep deep holes i have dug myself into, i just find myself deeper... this can't be rite......have faith: God is my Soul Smoother, Storm Smoother, Light Shiner, Lost Finder, Cloud Lifter, Deliverer, Heart Toucher, Truth Lover, Peacemaker, Mind Clearer, Sigh Hearer, Wound Binder, Tear Drier, Strength Giver, Provider, Heart Healer, and Kind Father.

God this is my prayer: Father thankyou for what you have already done, are doing now, and will yet to do in my life. My heart is yours for the taking Lord. You will never let me go... thankyou Father... Amen.

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 12:43 a.m.

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