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Friday, February 25, 2011

Reawakening.

I think its been about 3+ years since my last posting... I think I was really challenged by the deep sharing of two of my small group members yesterday night to re-explore how my spiritual/life thinking in written format used to be so formative in my walk with God... and now... well its been 3+ years and a lot has changed since then...

general updates - finished my undergraduate degree, finished my masters degree, attained my Chartered Accountancy professional designation, moved to Vancouver, got married, moved jobs 3x in the past 1.5 years.... and that just about sums up the past 3 years..

As I reflect upon who I've become since those university days, I cannot say that I'm fully satisfied with where things are today. Some things are great - some things are just... stagnant..

In terms of the stagnant things... #1 - Bible readings. This has kind of been the unspoken white elephant in my life over the past 3 years... if someone outright verbally called me out on this or challenged me, I'ld have a whole handful of excuses ready to fire back which at the end of the day can be summed up with the word LAZINESS. Why have I become such a lazy person? I can be very passionate about certain areas of my life (i.e. family, church, work, etc... okay, maybe not work haha)... but why is it that when it comes to God, one of my largest flaws really shines clear?

So... I feel really challenged to start doing something about it - setting some goals - setting up some new habits, setting up some more accountability.

I'm going to start using this new devotional that my Mom gave me a few weeks ago. I think what's crippled my Bible reading is that for me, Bible reading on its own (with no commentary, corresponding devotional, group directed Bible study questions) doesn't impact me the way it should. The Word of God is living and breathing and is the sword of Truth - so its about time I allow God to speak to me without my laziness getting in the way.

anyways, the great thing about this devotional - unlike others ... its not 100% just theological and your'e left to really push yourself to digest it, and analyze it, and ask questions yourself about it... its not 100% storybook with little spiritual content where you're left not thinking at all about what you've just read... its got good grounding - a long bible passage embedded with a series of thought provking challenging questions - and a really heart felt prayer ... a prayer that one could not pray without really realizing the impact of the words lest they be called a hypocrite.

so... starting small - that's the goal :) ODB in the morning when I turn on my computer - small prayers throughout the day - and this new devotional at night.

I want to be transformed.