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Saturday, May 19, 2007

New Post =)

it's the middle of may and i find myself sitting here finding smthg that noteworthy to share.... over these past few months, i've been really lacking the time and motivation to consistently blog... and use this tool as a method of reflection... not so good i guess..but oh well...

what's been happening lately?

haha i think work encompasses a lot these past few weeks... i've been on and off again sick..but as of late, it's actually been pretty good, so praise God =) this past week, i've been working really late hours...so most of the time, i dont' get home until past 8:30pm... and i leave y house at 7:45am everymonring to make it DT by 9 =) yeah so quite long days... not only so, the job itself is quite the challenge =) hahah that's an understatement... it's a killer job that's pretty confusing..altho i must say that i'm learning a lot of technical things =)

last weekend, i kinda was thinking about what it would be like to be a grandmother...wierd i know, but it wan't totally random =) hahaha.. it was mother's day, and my parnets were both out of the country for the past 3 weeks... and my grandma on mother's day, was complaining to me and another family friend about how unloving and uncaring her kids were to her on mother's day... about how not one of her fully grown adult kids had even bothered to ask her what she wanted for mother's day... needless to say, one of her greatest love languages was receiving gifts =) and sadly, her kids failed to realize that... i've never seen her so aggravated...and at one point in time, it seemed like she was goin to start tearing up right then and there... i think it was humbling... and it really made me appreciate more what my grandma lovingly does for me every single day since she came back to live with me and my family...

so i just got back from driving my sis to her friend's house... i've discovered that i really dislike being the discipliner of my younger sister, especially since she's not my own kid... but i've been forced to assume that role since my parents have been out of the country for the past 3 weeks..thank God they come back tmr... i don't think i can handle more of this full-time... yeah... it's like everyday i come home from work.. and my grandma gives me the daily update on how my sister's been behaving for that day (usuallly complaints lol)...about how's she was super late to school, or on the phone 24/7 since she's been home... doesn't do her hmk... or only on the computer... or telling my grandma the wrong place to pick her up from school..or other miscommunication between my grandma and my sister... or not eating dinner with the family cuz she's on the computer... things like that... and honestly, when i come home from a crazy day work... it's 8:30 pm by the time i step into the doorstep on my home.. and my grandma's telling me to talk to my sister because of her behaviour... i'm pretty plain tired... i dont' like having to be the one to tell my sister, no you can't go out at 10pm and come back at 1:30am with who knows who when you're a kid in gr 9... and then being given attitude for it... i don't like being the one that receives so much attitude, bitterness, and yelling for discipline or enforcing boundaries on a normal teenager... it's been an interesting few weeks to say the least... yeah... not fun to play "mom" and being told, "you're not mom.. stop doing that"... or aka, let me do whatever i want; you cna't stop me...

crazy world... but good learning experience i suppose... quite the handful to say the least... but i must give her some credit... after she does mouth off to me, she collects herself... and does apologize... i suppose it's the whole emotional thing again... i can definitely see how hard it is for my parents to adjust over these past few years...

in other news...

high school fellowship... so i've been helping out as a high school fellowship counsellor for hte gr 12s at my church since January... and it's been quite a different experience... definitely different than any other fellowship that i've attended myself... hahah the dynamics are very different from waterloo too.. but it's cool =) since it's a church fellowship, thepastoral team for youth usually plans out all the BIble studies and big fellowhip meetings, leaving the individual grade nights for the counsellors to prepare ontheir own... we've had a few interesting nights to date.. lots of times hanging out... i think it's taken me awhile to get used to the group dynamics... and the way in which people build up relaitonships is very different than when in waterloo... firstly, i dont' see these gr 12s every single day...so the time spent with them is actually very little.. proly just like the 2-3 hrs every week... and also, not living togehter in a student community is very different too..heheh but yeah.. it's been a challenge to really get to know the kids because of the restrictions of time spent actually getting to know them... but things are going well there =)

so i went to service today... and pastor sam was talking aobut 5 differnet ytpes of people that go to church... altho this analogy can be used in any enviornment context.... and it made me think what role i took in each area of my life...

1. VRP - "Very Resourceful Person" -- this person really knows how to ignite passion... in this context, within a church... a real go-getter and their passion just spreads like fire
2. VIP - "Very Important Person" -- this person doens't necessarily ignite passion amongst others, but they do share the passion that the VRP has within the church...
3. VTP - "Very Trainable Person" -- this person doesn't actually share the passion at first, but they are open to being trained and being made useful and serve... hence, they are able to catch the passion of the VRP and VIP
4. VNP - "Very Nice Person" -- this person is really nice... hahah that was obvious...lol... but they enjoy church... they enjoy the people there, the sermons, the ministries, etc... this category fits the majority of members of a church congregation
5. VDP - "Very Draining Person" -- this person really sucks the passion out of church..they may be very controversial and stubborn in their views...and kinda battle against other members of the church over ways things should be done, etc...

hahah the way these 5 "people types" work is... that no matter where we are on the spectrum, we always aim for the higher levels... so, if you are a VNP, you would aim to become a VTP... and so on... with VRP at the top... but usually people find that they go through these levels in sequence.. maybe wtiht he exeption of VDP...

i was sitting in sermon today, and i was thinking... which category do i fit into for each area of my life... at work, at home, at school, at fellowship, in my relationships...

haha speaking of which, this past month, i got to celebrate my 1 year anniversary =) good stuff the Lord has blessed us immensely.

hmmm...other random news... i am "trying" to use my exercise equipment more... lol... utter failure tho since i got it in february..hahah i've used it 3x so far... twice during the first week i bought the equipment...and once last week... yeah...so trying to get it up to at least once or twice a week...i think it'll help build my body up stronger...cuz we all know how weak my body is... hoepfully maybe this will help prevent me from getting sick all the time and always being so tired...imust say that it is a struggle to discipline myself to do it after waking up at 7am each day and getting home at some insane hr... but alas, these are only excuses i'm giving myself =) need to really just do it =)

recently, i've also been thinking about fellowship..not the high school one, but the a fellowship directed for people my age... i've checked out kainos a few times, but i find it really hard to commit to going without being completely drained by the end of the weekend.. it's tough... cuz when i do go, i'm out literally for 80% of the whole weekend after a tiring week of work... friday nite's dedicated to the high school fellowship... sat afternoon usually hanging out with either my sister or university/high school friends... then another fellowhsip sat nite... then sunday, church + sunday schoool, then family dinner out on sunday nite... and randomly during the week, i might meet up with a friend to catch up... so yeah, it's hard to not get that alone time on saturday night... or just to bum around at home and rest physically, mentally, etc...

it's wierd, cuz a few months ago, i was being really challenged in my faith because i was not part of a partiuclar close-knit supportive Christian community.. and now, that i have a chance to be in one, i kinda choose not to be... i've been thinking whether or not i have actual valid reasons for not going to the university/career aged fellowship on saturday night... or am i just being lazy?

i think that i've come to understand that perhaps at the point in time at my life, this is another lesson that GOd is trying to teach me... to keep trusting Him wrt fellowshpping intimatelyw ith other believers... and that now, i'm to do the things He's entrusted me to do for hte time-being... and not try to over-do it... hahah i dont' have to be superwoman... and instead of worrying about having a strong Christian support netwrk around me in TO to challenge, encourage, and support me, i should focus on deepening my own personal walk wtih Him first, strating wtih my own personal time with Him + devos + prayer... i just need to trust & obey...

hehehe.. so that song's in my ears now... lol..a pretty old school song..but good nonetheless... here's the first verse + CHorus

Trust & Obey

When we walk with the Lord
In the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will,
He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there's no other way
To be happy with Jesus,
But to trust and obey.

yup yup... so yeah... that's a bit of an update on me =)

posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~  -- 11:37 a.m.