it's almost Christmas-time =) time to see loved ones again and celebrate the birth of my Saviour!!
i'm doing okay =P not much time to blog recently, but as always, the Lord is continuing to bless me in so many different ways and train me up in faith and trust in Him so that when the fierce battles arise, I will be ready to fight with what He has equipped me with..
in other good news, i got baptized last sunday :) hehehee... so the promise I made to God at the beginning of this year was kept =) It was amazing to declare that the Lord is the head of my life and that his death and resurrection has freed me from the bondage of my own sin =) thank you to all who were there who witnessed it and celebrated with me =) The Lord indeed is good =)
things i'm currently thinking & praying about:
1. the Lord's calling for me next term @ RHCCC... it's about time that I really try and connect and learn to love and give towards this community of believers in Rhill...thank you to those who have pushed me to keep trying and to persevere admist the feelings of being an outsider at church for the past 4 years... I appreciate your prayers =) right now, i'm still praying about where God is leading me towards serving... it looks like i might help out with the high school fellowship "Agape" or teach high school sunday school... we'll see what happens... i'm sitll currently in the process of corresponding with the church youth leadership and finding out more information about opportunities I could possibly serve God in...
2. Witnessing -- something that's been on my mind all term... the world is watching and observing all the time... they are watching my every step.. they are probing into why i do the things i do... they are even celebrating with me certain spiritual breakthroughs God has overcome with me this term.. they are looking to me as someone different, someone with a bigger driving force behind my life than just monetary or occupational success... someone who has the ability to not lose hope and not stress... and i wish that they would know why.... that it's not just me being a superhero or smthg... that there's nothing out of my own being that keeps me going, but rather it is the Lord Himself who keeps me and sustains me every single day... that is my Father Almighty whom I praise and worship with every ounce of my being... that it is my Heavenly Friend to whom I pray willingly to... and i really do hope that they do not simply see it as being "religious"... that i dont' engage in these "religious activities" out of obligation or duty or simply to follow a rule-book, but rather, i do these things as an outward expression of my love for my God... with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength... i don't only wnat to be labelled as different... i want to be bold, daring, active, purposeful, and genuine about my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
3. Answers to Prayer -- oh yes, the Lord indeed is faithful :) again and again, He shows me His mighty power and strength and His neverending sovereignty.. and above all, I just want to respond back in worship to my Father... This term, again i am positively astounded by how much the Lord answers my prayers... not only the daily prayers, but also the prayers that i've been praying for years =) hehehe... yup yup :) There is such a strong peace in understanding that His will is actualized in our lives... i can't express enough how thankful I am for the answeirng of this one specific prayer item i've had for years... it makes me so happy, that it can bring me to tears of joy at how the Lord heals... He's brought me and my loved ones out of the dark and now we really are able to shine in His marvellous light... He's given me renewed hope and solidified over and over again that all things are in His perfect and capable hands... He's been watching out for us even when i coudln't... He knows how inadequate I am... and He continues to amaze me by changing hearts, strengthening hearts, healing hearts, redeeming hearts, renewing hearts, purifying hearts... that pretty much sums it up =)
4. Change -- i've changed a lot... correction -- God has changed me a lot... :) there we go =) this term has defintiely been filled wtih so many tryign times... hahaha..yeah and i'm sure my blogs represent just a few glimpses of the spirtual battles that have come my way everyday... but looking back on things now... and looking towards the future, i'm thankful for all the hardships that I've faced... i really must say that i'll never be the same again... God's power is just that powerful... it just leaves me... forever changed... forever yearning to deepen my relationship with Him... and forever wanting to spread the Love of Christ all around... i think this term, i've been living life quite secluded from the general Christian community... it's so noticeable, i can't even go to church or ccf without people asking me why i'm never around anymore or why i never chill wtih them, or why i keep cancelling on meeitn gup with them... or why my msn names always entail some sort of busyness... and even up until a few weeks ago, it kinda hurt inside to be disconnected from my loving brothers and sisters this term... but i knew that this was the path i was to follow this term... i think... God has definitely changed my perspecitve a lot about the role of ccf and godly friendships in my life... i can honestly say that being apart from them this term was soooo hard fo rme... espeically in the beginning, when i was unsure of where this was leading me to... but now, i realize that it has forced me to increase my reliance upon God and only God alone... He has pushed me way beyond my spiritual comfort zone and told me smack in the face over and over agian this term to trust Him, rely on Him, be near to Him, talk to Him, reach out to Him, seek Him, and battle myself for Him... and there's no one else to whom i should put my ultimate trust in... when faced witht he choice of having a lot of loving brothers and sisters care for, support, encourage, pray for, rebuke, and love me (in short, i think earlier, God blessed me with relying on Him wtih the help of and throught he presence of the peopel He put in my life), versus the choice of having that all taken away, being stripped and coming before God alone, just as I am, wtih all my faults and weaknesses, and being pushed to look to Him alone through the entrenching spiritual warfare.... i don't want to choose the "easier" way out... i want to be pushed so hard so that all i can do is drop everything, and rely on God solely for everything... while i understand the importance of fellowship in my spiritual walk with God, i no longer take it for granted and turn to the Church body of believers first, now, God has enabled me to take a more direct route to trusting Him through the hardships i will endure...
5. Learning about myself -- yeah.. haha... i've learnt a lot about myself this term... yup yup, being in a relaitonship teaches you so many things.. =) i think one of most significant things i've learnt about myself is how non-expressive i can be... and how much of an effect my mental state has on my expressiveness level... it's very very intriguing indeed... and i think this term, i've noticed a lot exactly about how stress influences me... and i notice exactly when i start to get stressed out... and from then onwards, it's an internal battle to connect what i know in my heart with what my brain's telling me =) hehe.. yeah... fun times... and when it gets really really bad, i get the major headaches or the "head feelign heavy' effect... and it hink the only thing that takes away the head feelign heavy effect is a combination of a) a nap and b) time thinking about the Lord and my life.... hahah yeah..i'm all about the naps =) gotta love them... but yeah... it's amazing hwo much the Lord can renew my mind in just 10 minutes... i've gotta be able to discipline myself to quiet down before God as soon as i recognize that my stress levels are overtaking my reliance on God...
alrite... 11 days -- 5 exams... i gotta go study again... i want to be doneeeeeee... soon soon..
so if you have time, prayers are needed =) i've been fighing sickness for almost a month now... the antibiotics are working..i feel a lot better today than i have in many weeks =) thanks for your prayers again.