posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 9:22 PM (0) comments
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
5 Months Later...
what has happened since the last time i logged in? lots =)
- completed masters
- studied intensely for a month for the UFE
- wrote the UFE
- flew to HK/Japan for a month long vacation
- spent a week in TO with Alexis
- started work at KPMG
what's still to come?
- lots of work events in the next month and work training events
- finding out the UFE results on Dec 5
- holiday season
where am i now?
1) figuring out where is my spiritual community - kainos/barnabas/rhccc/elsewhere?
i guess after having a lack of spiritual community for the past, well 2 years almost.. (since the end of 3B term in loo), its about time to go purposefully seek spiritual community... i'm determined this time around...
i'm still so lost tho... the kainos fellowship at rhccc, well it seems catered towards more younger university students (nothing against that), but i'm at a different stage of life now... doesn't quite seem to fit and its not quite challenging enough in a spiritual growth sense...
the barnabas fellowship at rhccc, hahah well i'm definitely the youngest one by far by about 5 years hahahha its quite a change from being the oldest to being the youngest.. but that's okay :) i like getting to know people older than me with more experience to share... its been a struggle to initiate deeper conversations.. the atmosphere is quite intimidating in an unwelcoming sense.. but i've got to give it more chances, i've only been there twice...
well.. how about rhccc in general? i've kept this decision looming in the back of my mind for the past... 5 years!~ haahah sad... but true... is this where God wants me? it's a big church, +4K people attending on any given Sunday... multiple services, its easy to get lost in the crowd... every previous work term back home, has been a struggle, but i've always thought, it's okay, i'll be back to watelroo within a few short months, just hang in there and things will get better... now that i'm back for good, and no plans to leave toronto in the next few years, this is the time to re-evaluate, or evaluate rather, what makes a Church...
when do you decide you need to find a new Church?
the Church is His body of believers, united through our faith in God...there cannot be anything in this world that can break that bond of believers...
then, why leave?
you've heard the phrase "church shopping", its the honest truth of the matter... where is the line drawn between church shopping and finding spiritual community/growth/feeding/service?
i'm not going to complain/critique rhccc, i have my beliefs that have been built and refined over hte past 5 years of attending rhccc... and as the months progress, and June hits, i'll be in a whole new situation with Alexis moving over and a new perspective.... one where we need to be looking for a Chruch and spiritual community together and a place to settle down together... where?
only God knows... even though i am rather confused and lost about all this.... i can't help but think that in the mysteriousness of His will, it comes hand in hand with His insurmountable power, His eternal Sovereignty... and by that, it reveals just how amazing He is... He always reminds me that He works for good of those who love Him... and so, admist all the unanswered questions, there is peace.... and contentment even tho i yearn for His will to unfold in my life... kind of an oxymoron... but that's life :)
posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 7:34 PM (0) comments
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Rightly Taught and Disciplined
I was reading the 2nd chapter of the Richard Foster book i'm reading now.. and i loveeeeed this quote.... to provide some context, Foster is talking about the fact that believers can be called into positions of power, wealth, and influence.. but in order to do so, we have to be "rightly taught and disciplined"... this is his explanation on what it means to be rightly taught and disciplined -->
"We need instruction on how to possess money without being possessed by money. We need help to learn how to own things without treasuring them. We need the disciplines that will allow us to live simply while managing great wealth and power."
so true!
posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 9:50 PM (0) comments
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Money - God's ownership, not ours
here's an excerpt from the book i'm reading now by Richard Foster - The Challenge of the Disciplined Life - Christian Reflections on money, sex, and power
"We badly need a conversion in our understanding of ownership. Perhaps we need to stamp everything in our possession with the reminder "Given by God, owned by God, and to be used for the purposes of God." We need to find ways to remind ourselves over and over again that the earth is the Lord's, not ours."
i think personally, this is smthg that I haven't thought about in a longgg time... it's a simple truth, yet i think it's hard to live out...i think of all the things i own (car, clothes, school stuff, money, etc) and really, how often do i consciously remember that it is given by God, owned by God, and to be used for God's purposes? It's hard... i think it definitely brings a different perspective on going shopping as i love to do... and also on the things i own...
it was also very interesting...cuz Richard Foster also said that in order to act upon the biblical call to faithfulness wrt our money, we need to understand with feelings that have shaped our understanding of money. One of these things he mentioned was that "by a conscious act of the will, let us stop denying our wealth."
i like Foster, he's very straight-forward, to the point, and he hits you hard with truths...
he's advised us to stop comparing our own wealth to others like ourselves, so that we can claim comparative poverty, but rather we should become world citizens, looking at ourselves i relation to all humanity..
more from Foster -->
random stat --> those who own a home are among top 95% wealthy people in the world
he goes on to list a bunch of other things, like the fact that altho we have a difficult time balancing our own budgets, we are among the very wealthy..
"but please note that this is not intended to make us feel guilty; it is intended to help us capture an accurate picture of the real situation in the world. We are wealthy. The very fact that we have leisure time to read a book or watch television means that we are wealthy. We do not need to be ashamed of our wealth or try to hide it from ourselves and others. It is only as we admit our wealth and quit trying to run from it that we are in a position to conquer it and use it for God's purposes."
sooo interesting eh? as i typed that quote above, it really brings to light my own personal wealth situation... i'm in my Masters of Accounting, gonna write my UFE in Sept and hopefully get my CA, will be making good money once i graduate... in addition, i remember so many times, especially during the few beginning years of university..i was actually ashamed to bring people to my house because I didn't want people to know of my family's wealth and I didn't want people to view me differently as a "rich, spoiled girl"... little did i realize that in doing so, i was inadvertently trying to hide my wealth... which is exactly what Foster is warning us not to do!
i think today's readings have been a very good reminder to conquer my ashamed attitude towards my wealth and now step forward to use it for God's good purposes.
the past few months, God has been shaping me and challenging me to give more to church, to charities, to friends going away on missions, to my sponsor kids, etc... and i think the missing link that now i've come to grips with is really admitting my wealth. Thanks God =)
posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 5:56 PM (0) comments
Sunday, June 01, 2008
God of Justice (Tom Hughes)
"God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served
Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God
You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord"
----
i heard this song for the first time at church today and i really really like the words... it hink it really captivates what God has been speaking to me recently.. i think the chorus is so simple, yet so profound..... so genuine... very honest.. seeking to be used by and for the Lord.
--> We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
it is my prayer, move me into acion and go do the work of God.
posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 10:00 PM (0) comments
Friday, May 23, 2008
New Term - New Beginnings
haha, the title sounds very corny =) but i like it :)
I think, God has really blessed me this term and He has given me the gift of community again this term... that gift has been taken back for quite a few terms now... almost 2 years, but now, it's almost as if, God was asking me to trust Him in the times where spiritual community was lacking... and in the end, God is always faithful.. He always listens, always hears, always follows through on His promises to us...
this term, i've kinda been given this new burst of hope and passion for being athletic =) and God is showing me so many lessons through the life example of keeping fit.
Discipline... when we are disciplined with our readings, our prayers, and our love for the world (including the nations, our nation, our community, our friends, our family, and yes, even ourselves), God blesses us with passion and He rewards us with an even closer relationship with Him.. the difference between a Spirit-led life and one which is self-led is so apparent.
I pray and hope that my life is Spirit-led and focused solely on God. This is how we overcome the problems that arise in our lives... this is why we have hope despite such a pain-stricken world filled with natural disasters as of late...
I want to have more of God in me and I'm praying continually that God will continue to convict me over and over again, each and every day to love this world and everyone in it. It starts with the hardest things... things like reading the news, and not just reading it for the sake of reading it, or cuz i'm bored, or simply out of practice.. but reading it to learn of what my community's needs are, what my nation's needs are, what my world's needs are... with disasters occuring in Sichuan, China, and Myanmar (Burma), it is so easy to just keep in touch with the news just to know what's going on and to forget to pray for our neighbours. Furthermore, it's supremely easy to forget the needs of our own nation in the midst of such travesties abroad.
i must confess that i am horrible at praying for my nation and the world in which I live in... it comes in spurts, here and there... and a huge apathetic perspective written all over me. I forget that God not only loves me and those i know personally, but my God is the same God who cares for those people across the globe. How can my own needs (i.e. getting thru Masters, passing the UFE, working, etc.) surpass in importance things like... not having a home to live in anymore, possible health epidemics at the cause of unclean shelters and living conditions, child-rape, child prostitutes, little boys of 10 holding guns and shooting people with them...
God tells us not to be discouraged at all these saddening things that go on daily in our world... right now, i'm not sure what makes me sadder... the fact that these things happen on a daily basis unnoticed, or the fact that many of my fellow Christian brothers and sisters don't care and don't pray.... i think that this area is a deadly spiritual battleground that Christians in North America tend to forget... with us being so focused on our immediate community needs... do not give up the fight.
in other news,
super thankful that I have people here to keep me on track and accountable =) weekly jog and prayer meetings :)
posted by ~*~VaNeSsA~*~ -- 4:23 PM (1) comments
Sunday, May 04, 2008
7 GLOBAL PRAYER PROMISES
Sunday Sermon Notes =)
Matthew 9:37-38
"Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."
John 4:34
"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work."
Introduction: What happens when we pray for the world?
1. God is glorified as we obey His command to pray for leaders and governments and nations.
See 1 Thimothy 2:1-2 --> "1I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— 2for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3This is good, and pleases God our Savior."
this is definitely smthg that I haven't been doing very often at all..today was such a good reminder... i really feel convicted to be praying for my leaders and government in Canada..
2. We follow the example of the early Christians who made this a practice in their group worship and personal devotional life.
See Acts 13 --> where the early church in Antioch sent away Barnabas and Paul to do the work of God through evangelism...
the pastor today spoke about how so often, we don't think of global needs as having high priority since we have our own needs (in Toronto, or wherever we live).. and that fills up so much of our time anyways... then the pastor contrasted how even tho the early church in Antioch was a huge spiritual battleground for early believers, it was still very important to send off ministry workers elsewhere to spread the Gospel... very good point!
3. An actual difference is made in the life and welfare of the nations.
The pastor had 2 really really amazing God events =)
a) he was talking about how in a little town in North Carolina, a group of Christian businessmen and politicians gathered together on a regular basis to pray that God would use one person from their city to impact the world for His Kingdom... and a few years later, Billy Graham accepted Christ in this town and we know that Billy Graham is the person who has evangelized to the most people in history. His legacy even lives on through his son Franklin Graham and their ministries combined have been very fruitful for God =) Amazing! because of the faithful prayers of a few businessmen and politicians =)
b) he was also talking about the country of Uganda... how there used to be tonz of war, violence, corruption, etc. but through much prayer, Uganda is now a country founded on Christian principles where even government officials gather together on a regular basis to pray and seek guidance from God. amazing!!!!!!!! Uganda's population is 80% Christian now =)
4. We are led beyond politics and geography to focus on the people and nations.
5. We engage in effective spiritual warfare.
in other words, praying for the world pushes back darkness!
The pastor was sharing this testimony where in the Netherlands, a local Christian youth organization built a church in between a satanic church and a prostitute house. that is how powerful our God is!!!!
6. Our hearts and minds are broadened.
it's interesting, cuz the pastor Dr. John Hull used to be the senior pastor of People's Church in Toronto for a number of years, and how he speaks globally and lives permanently in Atlanta... and he was saying that living in Toronto gave his children such a firm foundation to reach out to foreign countries because Toronto is so multi-cultural.. that was a very interesting point.. i began to think that perhaps i am keeping myself locked up in this chinese circle of friends i have now... and that i really need to push myself to take advantage of the opportunity I have in living in Toronto... and learning more about other cultures, ethnicities, etc.
7. We are drawn toward Christian activism.
The pastor had this GREAT analogy... he equated Christians to a football field. So, there are 22 players on the football field who need and rely on each other and then there are 70,000 people in the stands/stadium needing exercise. wow. what a thought-provoking analogy.. how in north america, there are soo many so called "christians" by name... and such a few small percentage are actually active in their faith in God and the rest of us desperately need to undergo spiritual exercise to live out the faith...
Conclusion: When we engage in prayer for the nations, we become "difference makers" in the lives of people we will never see.
----
so that's the end of the sermon notes and my side-notes on them... yeah, needless to say, God really convicted my heart today as I sat through the sermon... I'm really thankful that God gave me this opportunity to hear the message today at rhccc... it's exactly what I was praying to God about during the communion before the sermon started, that God would empower me to pray more fervently and faithfully... as i have been slacking on prayer for the last while... in just a few minutes, God has really re-fueled this passion within me... =)
in other news, i'm so excited for a new opportunity to consistently pray with one of my classmates this term :) I hope that we'll be a good source of support for each other during the next few months leading up to the ufe... it'll be a brutal time... but yeah, God works in so many amazing ways =)